Genealogy Humor

Historical Archives
1 
Here is some humor that I found in a message board.  I
hope you get a laugh out of it like I did and realize
that all of our ancestors did this.

ANCESTORS GUIDE TO NAMING


    

  1. 

    Thou shalt name your male children: James, John,
    
Joseph, Abel, Richard, Thomas or William.
    

    2. 

  2. 

    Thou shalt name your female children: Elizabeth,
    
Mary, Martha, Maria, Sarah, Ida, Virginia or Mae.
    

    3. 

  3. 

    Thou shalt leave NO trace of your female
    
children.
    

    4. 

  4. 

    Even after naming your children using the above
    
lists, thou shalt never refer to them by those names
    
again; instead, thou shalt call them by strange
    
nicknames, such as: Ike, Eli, Polly, Dolly, and
    
Sukey.
    

    5. 

  5. 

    Thou shalt not use any middle names on ANY legal
    
documents or census reports and whenever possible,
    
use only initials on legal documents.
    

    6. 

  6. 

    Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly
    
so that your surname can be spelled, or misspelled in
    
various ways: Tipper, Topper, Hopper, Tucker,
    
Tapper.
    

    7. 

  7. 

    Thou shalt, after no more than 3 generations,
    
make
    
sure that all family records are lost, misplaced,
    
burned in a court house fire, lost at sea or buried
    
so that NO future trace of them can be found.
    

    8. 

  8. 

    Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors
    
and vague innuendo regarding your place of origin:
    
a) You MAY have come from England, Ireland,
    
Scotland, Wales … or Iran.
    
b) You MAY have American Indian Ancestry.
    
c) You MAY be descended from one of three brothers
    
that came over.
    

    9. 

  9. 

    Thou shalt leave no cemetery records, or
    
headstones with legible names; nor will any of the
    
dates thereon match those in any public records.
    

    10. 

  10. 

    Thou shalt leave no family bible with records of
    
birth, marriage or death.
    

    11. 

  11. 

    Thou shalt ALWAYS flip thy name around. If born
    
James Albert, thou must make the rest of thy records
    
in the name of Albert, AJ, JA, AL, Bert, Bart or
    
Fred.
    

    12. 

  12. 

    Thou must also flip thy parent’s names around
    
when making reference to them, although "Unknown" is
    
an
    
acceptable alternative.
    

    13. 

  13. 

    Thou shalt name all generations of children with
    
the identical first names, as well as all of your
    
brothers so that all cousins are named the same.
    

    14. 





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